Quick update to my last blog;
Shortly after posting that, I was introduced to pinterest.com, that damn website can make anyone feel the need to be crafty and try new things.
From that website I have already benefited in the following ways:
-Made my own Fabreeze
-Made my carpet shampoo solution
-Grown my own green onions from already used green onions
-Made several recipes (some were successful others not so much)
-Had my grandma make me mittens from a crochet pattern that was posted
-Made and used, teeth whitening solution
-Curled my hair using a sock
I have also found several other arts, crafts, project, recipes, workout plans, etc. that I plan to attempt.
So, thank-you Pinterest for being the key to my crafty itch that I needed.
I have to say that Pinterest has also been a contributing factor to me suddenly feeling the need to plan a wedding I never had intended on wanting/planning. OK, I am not REALLY, planning a wedding but, I find myself loving great ideas for wedding related things, that makes me say "I want to do that for my wedding", all the time.
I have recently come to the realization that maybe, just MAYBE, I DO want to get married and have kids someday. I am still not ready to do either of those things right now this very minute, I am just saying, maybe I am not so against the idea of it, as I once was. My realization might have been due to Pinterest, or looking around and seeing so many of my friends and family moving onto these next so-called, "steps" in their lives and/or maybe its because I am in a relationship with someone I adore, appreciate and can see myself with forever. Whatever the reason is, I am starting to rethink my long term goals.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
I’ve Got This Itch
Lately I have had an itch to learn a new trade, not really sure why, boredom? Feeling creative? Need to constantly be learning/doing something? Adding character? Who knows, regardless I have been thinking, maybe guitar, poetry/song writing, crocheting, cooking, golfing, or maybe even painting.
I really enjoy listening to my friends, random musicians, or any artist really, who sings and plays guitar or any other instrument (particularly found of saxophones too), I am envious and in awe of their talent. Music has always warmed my heart, raised the hair on my arms and speaks to my sole. It is the best form of therapy in my opinion. You can always find music/lyrics that relate to how you are feeling, to pick you up, motivate you, accompany you in your current fump’n’grump, or to express how you are feeling, better than any words you can usually find in times of need. Although I can always, flip on a radio to experience such greatness, I’d like to be able to provide these feelings of comfort for others as well. There are so many times when I listen to a song, I can swear the artist found their way into my diary, journal, head, or has lived my life and has written a song about it. I can’t express how much I appreciate an all-nighter with my dear friend (and mentor) Matt McClure, who plays guitar and sings til the wee hours of the morning in a living room. Listening to him, live, acoustic, is just simply therapeutic, and amazing, I also find that I learn more about myself, him, music and several other life lessons during these “therapy sessions”.
There is a new game out, I think it is for PlayStation© that teaches you how to play a real guitar, not like Guitar Hero©, I thought that might be a fun way to learn this trade, problem is, I don’t own a PlayStation or a Guitar, so this would be a costly adventure. This new trade would also go hand in hand with my itch to write songs, however there is another minor not so minor issue with picking up this new talent of learning to play guitar and write songs…I can’t carry a tune in a bucket, so this talent would not be heard or seen by another living soul. The problems or issues I am currently faced with in regards to learning these things aren’t enough to discourage me from actually doing it, but are things I need to strongly consider before making such investments. Really, with the exception of not being able to sing, the financial investment, time, discipline, etc. should be considered, with varying degrees, when considering most of the ideas I have come up with to find a new trade or talent.
With my current job, there seems to be a LOT of golf outings, so much that when creating a sales call in our Salesforce system, “Golf Outing” is an option to choose to describe where a sales person might have met with a customer or vendor. Although, I am not technically on the sales team, I have found myself out on a course already 2, going to be 3 times tomorrow, with a vendor. I thought I would absolutely HATE this sport, but I found that I actually really enjoy it. I may not be GREAT, but I have been told there is nothing “fundamentally” wrong with my swing”. Because this seems to be a regular occurrence through work, I thought I might NEED to pick up golfing, however, it is pretty expensive and VERY time consuming in the way of dedicating much of my personal time to improving my game.
Crocheting, painting and even cooking are probably the less expensive things I have thought of, but also appeal the least to me, yet made the list.
I dare not make promises to actually “scratch” any one of these “Itches”, I am having, but just some thoughts I have been having, and am considering.
Monday, November 21, 2011
How I got to where I am today!
My life has been crazy to say the very least, I am not even really sure where to start but I will try to give you the short version :). August 2009 I started a new, GREAT, job. I loved it; it was wonderful, huge raise, great people, fun environment, etc., about the same time Scott moved from California to once again try to make a relationship work. When things were probably at their worst between us, I found out my company had decided to close their Texas office. They asked that I relocate to our headquarters in Orlando, FL. At about the same time, my sister got engaged and was planning her wedding. Point is, there was a LOT going on all at once.
This meant HUGE stresses for me: How do I help and stay involved with the planning of my sister's "BIG DAY", deal with my relationship all while traveling back and forth between Orlando and Dallas, and making the decision to actually move or not.
As someone who has pretty much always been level headed, put together and able to multitask all these things took a toll on me and my well-being. I agreed to "move" to Orlando with the company, however in doing so, I had to agree to stay for at least 6 months or I would have to pay fines to the company. Because me and Scott were not doing well, I didn't think it would be wise for him to quit his job and move with me, so I didn't invite him, however, I didn't break up with him at that point either. This meant, I was somehow supposed to manage my already troubled relationship from 1,000 miles away; more to come on that later. Helping my sister plan her wedding while traveling back and forth, was very difficult, she needed me to be around more than I was, but work was very demanding, AND I had to pay for every plane ticket to and from, everything was getting expensive...side note: I was paying rent in Orlando AND Texas, paying for travel back and forth, AND having to pay for wedding like things, i.e.; bachelorette parties, party favors, the cost to get to the wedding (It was in Mexico)(Which my mother helped with, thank-you GOD), my dress, etc. So in addition to cost weighing heavily, so were the demands of me and my time, from 4 different parties; Scott, Jess, Work and all my other friends. I was just exhausted, warn down, and eventually…defeated. Scott and I continued to struggle, Jess fired me not once but twice as her maid of honor, friends were drifting away and work grew more and more stressful, demanding with little to no pay off.
I made it through my sister's wedding, but not before I had dropped around 30 lbs in a matter of 5-6 weeks because of all the stress I had going. I had gone from size 10 to 4, 150lbs to 115lbs. Needless to say this started just ANOTHER stressor/issue for me. When everyone in my family saw me, for most of them, it had been close to a year, they were SHOCKED! They all lectured about me and my weight, and how they were worried about me not taking care of myself. So while I dropped the stress of my sister's wedding, I still had; work, money, friends, Scott and now family as the main stressors anyways.
I returned to real life after the wedding. Work continued to become crazier and crazier; my living situation in Orlando went from bad to worse. I had moved in with 2 girls, one whom worked under me, and another girl, at first I loved them both, but those who know me, know I have NEVER had luck with roommates. After a very long but short 2 months the dynamics of the house became unbearable. If and when I was home, I locked myself in my bedroom only coming out to get food/drinks out of the kitchen. When I moved in, I had told both the girls, “what is mine is yours, help yourselves, just let me know if you borrow something, and make sure you return it”…well that came back to bit me in the ass…somehow, somewhere, I found all of my jewelry missing (about $5k worth), all while I continued to have issue with Scott and then of course the additional issue which was my family's concern for my health both physical and mental, and work.
Well before I knew it, I found myself “situationally” depressed (clinical term but self-diagnosed). I couldn't manage to make a decision to save my life. This is where I pick back up on my and Scott...I had asked him to back off, and explained that I needed space to figure ME out, explaining to him, that until I figured ME out, I would not be able to adequately contribute to our relationship and figuring out what we needed to do to be better. Hell, I couldn't figure out what I needed to do to figure ME out, how did he expect me to figure US out? He continued to ignore my request, and continued to push and push, causing more and more stress, til I finally threw in the white flag and just ended it. I explained to him that, I wasn't and couldn't make him happy in my current state/condition and or location for that matter, and that he needed to move on. Giving you the short version and sparing you the grueling details, that is where we called it quits.
My mom, mike, sister, her husband and Lindsey (she lived with my parents for almost a year) all had a "intervention" via Skype with me, explaining that “they all knew best for me and they were all concerned for my health and asked that I quit my job and move back to Texas, with or without another job”. Again, pressure and stress got the best of me; I evaluated the situation and ended up agreeing to do it. Based on the fact that I was down to 108lbs size 2 or in some cases 0, many sleepless nights, because I was either working through the night or just so stress and upset I couldn't sleep, and although working my ass off, I wasn't being adequately compensated, didn't get the job title only responsibilities and continuously wasn’t getting things I was promised at work, in addition to my living situation getting worse and worse, I continued to get expensive things stolen from me, it was what I now refer to as “rock bottom”. So between my own conclusions and my family’s full proof plan and my 6 months nearing an end, I decided to put in my notice at work and abandoned the sinking ship!
Moving back, I had originally had a job lined up, but, it fell through once I got back. So I went about 3 months without work, this was another HUGE stressor for me. I drained my bank account down to $3 (no I didn't forget to put zeros behind that 3) keeping up on my bills with no income. Although grateful that my sister opened her doors to me and my dog, and my mom offered to help financially I hated to accept help. I had to swallow my pride and allow others to help, that was a HUGE pill to swallow for miss independent.
BUT THEN...right when I was nearing another self-diagnosed situational depression I was blessed with a new job. Just to give you a time frame reference we are at June of this year now (told you I would give you the short version, lol). So far, the new job is going alright, defiantly keeps me busy, lots of travel, lots of off-site trainings, so really I am still considered very new! I also got my own apartment at the beginning of August, and I love every minute of having my own place, a pay check and my sanity back! Oh, and I am dating someone new, we started dating since about March-ish when I moved back to Texas.
Things have been going great!
This meant HUGE stresses for me: How do I help and stay involved with the planning of my sister's "BIG DAY", deal with my relationship all while traveling back and forth between Orlando and Dallas, and making the decision to actually move or not.
As someone who has pretty much always been level headed, put together and able to multitask all these things took a toll on me and my well-being. I agreed to "move" to Orlando with the company, however in doing so, I had to agree to stay for at least 6 months or I would have to pay fines to the company. Because me and Scott were not doing well, I didn't think it would be wise for him to quit his job and move with me, so I didn't invite him, however, I didn't break up with him at that point either. This meant, I was somehow supposed to manage my already troubled relationship from 1,000 miles away; more to come on that later. Helping my sister plan her wedding while traveling back and forth, was very difficult, she needed me to be around more than I was, but work was very demanding, AND I had to pay for every plane ticket to and from, everything was getting expensive...side note: I was paying rent in Orlando AND Texas, paying for travel back and forth, AND having to pay for wedding like things, i.e.; bachelorette parties, party favors, the cost to get to the wedding (It was in Mexico)(Which my mother helped with, thank-you GOD), my dress, etc. So in addition to cost weighing heavily, so were the demands of me and my time, from 4 different parties; Scott, Jess, Work and all my other friends. I was just exhausted, warn down, and eventually…defeated. Scott and I continued to struggle, Jess fired me not once but twice as her maid of honor, friends were drifting away and work grew more and more stressful, demanding with little to no pay off.
I made it through my sister's wedding, but not before I had dropped around 30 lbs in a matter of 5-6 weeks because of all the stress I had going. I had gone from size 10 to 4, 150lbs to 115lbs. Needless to say this started just ANOTHER stressor/issue for me. When everyone in my family saw me, for most of them, it had been close to a year, they were SHOCKED! They all lectured about me and my weight, and how they were worried about me not taking care of myself. So while I dropped the stress of my sister's wedding, I still had; work, money, friends, Scott and now family as the main stressors anyways.
I returned to real life after the wedding. Work continued to become crazier and crazier; my living situation in Orlando went from bad to worse. I had moved in with 2 girls, one whom worked under me, and another girl, at first I loved them both, but those who know me, know I have NEVER had luck with roommates. After a very long but short 2 months the dynamics of the house became unbearable. If and when I was home, I locked myself in my bedroom only coming out to get food/drinks out of the kitchen. When I moved in, I had told both the girls, “what is mine is yours, help yourselves, just let me know if you borrow something, and make sure you return it”…well that came back to bit me in the ass…somehow, somewhere, I found all of my jewelry missing (about $5k worth), all while I continued to have issue with Scott and then of course the additional issue which was my family's concern for my health both physical and mental, and work.
Well before I knew it, I found myself “situationally” depressed (clinical term but self-diagnosed). I couldn't manage to make a decision to save my life. This is where I pick back up on my and Scott...I had asked him to back off, and explained that I needed space to figure ME out, explaining to him, that until I figured ME out, I would not be able to adequately contribute to our relationship and figuring out what we needed to do to be better. Hell, I couldn't figure out what I needed to do to figure ME out, how did he expect me to figure US out? He continued to ignore my request, and continued to push and push, causing more and more stress, til I finally threw in the white flag and just ended it. I explained to him that, I wasn't and couldn't make him happy in my current state/condition and or location for that matter, and that he needed to move on. Giving you the short version and sparing you the grueling details, that is where we called it quits.
My mom, mike, sister, her husband and Lindsey (she lived with my parents for almost a year) all had a "intervention" via Skype with me, explaining that “they all knew best for me and they were all concerned for my health and asked that I quit my job and move back to Texas, with or without another job”. Again, pressure and stress got the best of me; I evaluated the situation and ended up agreeing to do it. Based on the fact that I was down to 108lbs size 2 or in some cases 0, many sleepless nights, because I was either working through the night or just so stress and upset I couldn't sleep, and although working my ass off, I wasn't being adequately compensated, didn't get the job title only responsibilities and continuously wasn’t getting things I was promised at work, in addition to my living situation getting worse and worse, I continued to get expensive things stolen from me, it was what I now refer to as “rock bottom”. So between my own conclusions and my family’s full proof plan and my 6 months nearing an end, I decided to put in my notice at work and abandoned the sinking ship!
Moving back, I had originally had a job lined up, but, it fell through once I got back. So I went about 3 months without work, this was another HUGE stressor for me. I drained my bank account down to $3 (no I didn't forget to put zeros behind that 3) keeping up on my bills with no income. Although grateful that my sister opened her doors to me and my dog, and my mom offered to help financially I hated to accept help. I had to swallow my pride and allow others to help, that was a HUGE pill to swallow for miss independent.
BUT THEN...right when I was nearing another self-diagnosed situational depression I was blessed with a new job. Just to give you a time frame reference we are at June of this year now (told you I would give you the short version, lol). So far, the new job is going alright, defiantly keeps me busy, lots of travel, lots of off-site trainings, so really I am still considered very new! I also got my own apartment at the beginning of August, and I love every minute of having my own place, a pay check and my sanity back! Oh, and I am dating someone new, we started dating since about March-ish when I moved back to Texas.
Things have been going great!
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Blogging Challange
Day: 0
There are many reasons WHY people decide to blog, including but not limited to; to market/promote, stay connected, rant, make a difference, make money, or as a way of staying active by partaking in a daily exercise. As for my reasons for blogging, I decided to do it just for the hell of it. As for the point of blogging, if there is a point, it is to express and share thoughts, feelings, experiences and/or opinions, nothing more, nothing less.
Committing to a blogging challenge to blog every day for 30 days is a BIG commitment. It takes time, for several reasons such as; researching (in some instances more than others), finding topics to write about, writing the blog, updating blogs, and in some instances responding to those who have commented on the blogs. I am not only committing to blogging but I will commit to my avid readers to read, and respond to any posts.
To kick things off I have created a list of 38 topics so far, some are date specific most are not. I am going to attempt to begin the challenge starting tomorrow November 16th, and for the next 30 days to blog my little heart out. I have started blogs in the past and enjoy going back and reading my own thoughts, rants, trials, and experiences. I hope that not only will I enjoy going back and reading these blogs but that others will too. I have never been a shy or an introverted person, and I generally have no issues with expressing my thoughts, feelings, opinions etc., but readers will quickly get to know me or know me better than they currently do through the thoughts I share in my blogs.
Today I am starting with a blog page makeover, as a way of cleaning my slate and preparing my “canvas” for all of my creativity. Tomorrow’s blog topic will be “ME”, I figured I should write a quick summary of how I got to where it is that I am at in my life today, in the case I make reference to specific BIG events that have happened in any of the future blogs in order to avoid having to back track or explain.
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